number seven, with privilege

challenging my assumptions, as well as some ways to get active in educating yourself and in the movement for police reform

Jun 03, 2020

Like many of you my heart and mind has been focused on the uprising happening across the country and the demand for justice for George Floyd, and an end to police brutality and militarization. There is a lot that has been written and said about what is currently happening and the ongoing struggle so I sit here wondering what it is I can best contribute to this discourse. I want to speak out loud the things I have been grappling with internally and to speak to my fellow white people in hopes that it helps you consider things from a new angle or feel more encouraged to do some of this work yourself. Honesty with our selves is the starting point for doing honest work toward change.

One of the most tempting things to do when you start reflecting on your whiteness and your privilege is to start hedging. The work of many activists has pushed the ideas of privilege and whiteness to the fore of our consciousness, and though we may be familiar with these ideas it does not mean we have truly reckoned with them. I am in fact Hispanic and have a complicated personal relationship with privilege in the sense of class. It is natural to want to say, “but I am not really white” or “I didn’t come from privilege,” to want to explain yourself. It can feel like your identity and complexity is being erased by this language.

The bottom line is I am white, and if you are as well that has afforded you many privileges. Recognizing that does not erase anything about who I am. The nuances of my identity are important as they inform who I am and the way I see the world, they are important in the same way recognizing the complexity of everyone is important, but we can accept that as a given. Even if you are non-white and non-black the experiences you have had cannot be compared to that of Black Americans. It is not the oppression Olympics, but if it were, Black people would win most of the time. Just like in the real Olympics. Afford Black people the same complexity you afford yourself. After all, we have seen time and again that Black people do not have the opportunity to explain who they are before violence is inflicted upon them. As we see police officers across the nation responding to peaceful protest with violence it is clear that seeing humanity in one another is deeply lacking.

People take the discussion about white privilege personal. I have been guilty of worrying that I am doing something wrong, that I am not liked. As a white woman I am used to being liked, I expect it even. People do not want to be blamed for living their lives while being white, to be cast as the villain, to be lumped in with racists and Karens. You can say “that isn’t me,” “I do not have the power to oppress anyone” or “I am not my ancestors.” This all may be true. I generally feel it to be true for myself. The thing is, only you know the truth about who you are and the way you live your life. I have done plenty of thinking about how I wish I had been more of an ally for black coworkers I have had the my past, how I have dismissed the feelings of Black people because it was inconvenient for me to hear, or how I have chosen what struggles to pay attention to or what solutions to listen to because it more easily aligned with my perspective. I can say from experience if you are taking it personal, it may be because something about you is not sitting right with yourself.

Social media magnifies all of these things as people are afraid of making a misstep and of being called out. I have been that person who thought way too much about what I am posting on social media wondering if it is saying the right thing. In as much as social media is today’s public square, what you say does matter and being visible about what you believe and stand for is not insignificant. It is not about signaling how good you are or feeling better about yourself, it is about being better. I have to accept that I will not always be liked and that is perfectly okay. I have to accept that I may have made mistakes in the past and likely will in the future. Who cares if you mess up on social media, nobody is looking at you to be the leader of our generation. Listen and learn. The way you live your life will speak for itself. Let go of the defensiveness, it does not serve you or this struggle.

There is guilt. I have texted with multiple white friends sharing guilt, wondering if we are doing enough. Guilt is a sticky and self-serving emotion. It makes you start looking around for absolution, it encourages hopelessness. What have I done that is racist? What can I do to make a difference? Will anything ever be enough? Yes, you can make a difference. Yes, it can be enough. If you choose not to protest, own that and look at what else you can do. We can speak these things out loud to one another and we can hold each other accountable. Accountability requires learning, action and change. Accountability is what we are calling for when we ask for justice for George Floyd, when we demand police reform and transparency. Again, nobody but you can look at you and tell you that you are doing the right thing. I am sure there are many cops who feel badly right now, who feel guilty who feel shameful, these emotions do nothing to move these issues forward. In fact they encourage people to bury the issue and look the other way because it is the easier path. Demand accountability, it starts with you.

We are addicted in this country to narratives of individual success, of overcoming to succeed. You have to ask yourself, do you feel you have truly earned everything that you have in your life? I for one have gotten way too many free cups of coffee in my life to know that I have been given many things for no reason other than the way I look. I believe I deserve good things, but it is right for me to question why they come so easily. Further it is right for me to ask myself what I would give up in order to see more good to come to others. I can buy my own coffee, you know? This individualism can make it difficult for us Americans to look beyond our own experiences, to consider how something might be much bigger than any one of us. When we get hung up on individuals, us or our families or good cops or good people we lose sight of the issue at hand: that our systems are set up to benefit white people and oppress Black people.

There have been times in the past when I have been scrolling through social media seeing the endless posts about Black lives or the most recent celebrity who has said something racist and had the thought “I wish we could talk about something else,” or questioned if something is “really about race.” Nobody was in the mood for racism or violence, we have to confront these things even if it is tiring or complicated or we aren’t in the mood. But you have to think, if you are tired of hearing about it just imagine how tired Black people must be of saying it? How tired Black families who have been fighting for justice for generations must be of having to have these conversations, of having to see their sons and nephews facing the same struggles they have. No, not everything is about race. But in America, most of it is.

I am thinking about fear. Since I left my very white suburban town outside of Detroit I have lived almost entirely in neighborhoods where I have been the minority. As a student I would see the police presence and be reassured that I was being looked out for, without thinking enough about who was less safe because of them. My family always let me know they were concerned for my safety and would remind me to take precautions to protect myself. I have had to work, as a white person in a black neighborhood to shift, my mindset from “am I safe?” to “are my Black neighbors safe?” So focused on my safety for so long, I have just begun thinking about how neighbors of mine may have gone out of their way to make sure not to appear as a threat, because of the danger I pose to them.

It has been my education that has opened my eyes and shifted my perspective in ways that cannot be undone. This is the most powerful tool though for clearing away the things that can block us from seeing clearly though. Through educating yourself you see clearly the facts that whiteness has conferred privileges in this country and that most of our systems are built to uphold power, and therefore whiteness. You learn new reasons to stand firm in your values and ways to express what you believe to others. You learn that these systems are much older and bigger than you, and that there are ways to change them.

I have been reminded that I need to rededicate myself to education about the Black experience, history of whiteness and impacts of racism. Reminded that this is lifelong work. There are so many ways to expose yourself to new perspectives whether it be through television, film, or podcasts. Self-growth is a beautiful thing, you can develop more understanding, more empathy, a better way to navigate your world. Don’t shame yourself for what you did not know, be grateful for the knowledge that has been shared and that you have the space to learn. Grateful that so many Black people in pain have chosen to turn that trauma into action and knowledge that we can learn from. That we have the time to grow and learn, unlike many Black children who must learn about race quickly in order to protect their own lives, and even then the knowledge cannot always protect them.

This ongoing education is essential in impacting how we will live our lives. It is the first step to choosing not to replicate the mistakes of our parent’s and grandparents, how we learn to live lives that dismantle rather than uphold systems of white supremacy.

It is through education that you can see Black people taking to the streets once again and not think “when will it be enough?”, wondering why people cannot accept the progress that has been made and move on. You see people taking to the streets and understand that it has never been enough, that there it never will be until we truly reckon with how race has defined this country as much as anything else. Black people cannot solve the problems of their communities alone not only because they did not cause them, but because of systems that continue to compound disadvantage and quite literally step on their necks.

Sometimes solidarity is uncomfortable. I admit I am inherently uncomfortable with the language and performative nature of protests, I am not comfortable with anger. I have taken a moment to consider how many Black people are just like me, who are not comfortable with anger, who are naturally introverted and passive. People who have been brought to anger, who have to set aside their comfort because the issue at stake is too important, who are strong and brave enough to push past not only discomfort, but personal and generational trauma. I know there are many people who are out there marching in the streets who would much rather be anywhere else but who feel it is too essential to sit out. Right now I am joining millions of Americans in feeling anger, and in not looking away from those who are expressing theirs.

I used to work for a fair housing nonprofit here in New York. A big part of my job was going around to audiences all across the NYC region to talk about the history and realities of housing discrimination. I would talk about how the passage of the fair housing act itself was in reaction to the civil unrest that occurred after the murder of Martin Luther King Jr., an act of violence. The strategy of nonviolence Dr. King utilized was developed exactly because they knew it would incite violence on the part of the police. Making that violence visible was essential to gaining support for civil rights legislation. It is easy to sit back and say how you would like these protests to look, but people have been saying how they would like this country to look for so long. Anyone who has been engaged with change work knows how messy it is, don’t allow that to let you dismiss it or to turn away.

The uprising we are seeing is as messy as the problems it is bringing attention to and as our country is. It would be so tidy if there was a simple fix, and the protests would probably organized equally as neatly. That is often how we reimagine the movements of our past, like united fronts that moved us from racism to progress. What you see as chaos are the results of organization and the beginnings of new calls to action and movement to hold power accountable. Movements have never been as straightforward as our history books make them seem. If we are upset by property destruction we have to ask why, and if we are upset by violence we need to ask who are the instruments of that violence. I feel for those who are driven to express their anger in hopes it will be heard. I fear only that those in power will use it to cause more pain. Yes it might be scary, but we have to be brave in the face of injustice.

What I am seeing in these protests is an honesty spoken very loudly by many people, saying the things by any means available that they need to in order to live with themselves and in this country. To quote DeRay Mckesson, “Protest is telling the truth in public.” With these tangled problems the truth can often be hard to hear, but it is there if you are willing to listen.

We all have benefitted from the bravery and sacrifice of Black activists before us and at this moment. We live in a country that I am more proud of, that is closer to the kind of world I want to live in. While the “founder” of social work may be Jane Addams, a white woman, I know it is the work of Black women that I have learned from and build upon in my own work, and the struggles of communities of color that have given my life purpose. I have been passionate about mental health, housing, and in strengthening the capacity of the nonprofit sector as a whole. The work of police reform and criminal justice have seemed like someone else’s battle. What this past week has woken me up to is that this is a battle that belongs to all of us. This work must intentionally be a part of my work if I am to continue to claim to be committed to justice and equity in this nation.

Growing up I heard the stories often about my mother seeing tanks at the end of the Detroit block during the riots. It was a story of violence and fear and of flight, of destruction of a city they loved. Like so many my family does not live in Detroit anymore, they moved out to the suburbs. I have been thinking about these stories of ‘white flight’, familiar to many cities across the country. I know the levels of violence have not come close to reaching the level of the 1960s but this uprising is potentially as significant. I wonder if we can learn different lessons this time. Instead of leaving, what if people can stay and be a part of the solution. Instead of fear we can sit with one another’s pain and turn it into action. Fleeing, after all, did not protect these cities form any of this, it didn’t make you immune or not complicit.

Saying all of this out loud is one way to be a part of the solution, a small way. I encourage you to hold me accountable, and we can do the same for one another. However it is you go about being a part of this movement, know that there is not a clear endpoint for any of our work, this is a way of being. Dr. King spoke so much about love not because he did not feel anger or guilt or doubt — he knew that it is love that sustains movements and our ability to continue to fight. Love the way he understood it is an active word, it is the things you do and your motivation for seeking change. Love is acting with empathy and humanity and accepting nothing less for all of your fellow men and women. Love fosters hope. Right now I have so much love for you, whatever it is you feel and without expecting anything in return.

what we can do

For those of us who have not been deeply in touch with the work of Black Lives Matter and the push for police reform we may know the hashtags and see the protests and social media posts, but may not necessarily know what it is that can be done to change things long term. The thing that is different about this moment is that due to the work done by the activists who came out of Ferguson we are now prepared with the research, solid policy proposals, and evidence to implement reform in every single city. I encourage you all, if you have not already, to familiarize yourself with the work of Campaign Zero. You will find serious proposals for reforming policing that and where your city stands. This is what we need to be pushing our local politicians to do. It is possible, and it works. This can be changed.

Action you can take right now to support the demands of protesters, or to get out and protest yourself, is all over social media. If you are feeling lost I found this particular Black Lives Matter card with ways you can help to be helpful. Actions including protest locations, petitions, donations, and texts in support are presented in a direct and easy to access way: do something.

In NYC: There is action being taken to push the city to defund the NYPD in their upcoming budget, that is due to be adopted this Friday, June 5th. Here is a toolkit that provides all the information you need to contact The City Council and ask them to consider cuts to their budget. Take action.

Finally, if this past week has not shown you that we need a change in leadership then I don’t know what will. I encourage you to register to vote (duh), and if you are in a safely blue state join the Adopt A State effort and help make sure a swing state helps to swing this President out of office in November. Our President’s leadership matters, a lot, but the fact remains that many of the decisions around policing and community investment are local. If you are bothered by anything you are seeing where you live, you will have the opportunity to vote for new District Attorneys, Mayors, and city council people who make many of decisions on budgets, police unions, and local laws.

narrative lines

Discussion about this post

narrative lines

number seven, with privilege

challenging my assumptions, as well as some ways to get active in educating yourself and in the movement for police reform

what we can do

recommended reading…

Discussion about this post